I try to keep this blog family-friendly, so I feel a bit off publishing this. If you are offended by foul (albeit non-blasphemous) language, please do not continue reading.

Now that the disclaimer is handled, let me explain a few things about my current mindset: the people who try to disrupt your progress in any facet of your life are monumental douchewagons towing douche canoes loaded with bullshit from a man who claimed said cargo was cleanser for porcine creatures. Got it?

Really? I don’t know that you do.

List your goals. Set aside time to work out, read, make jewelry, plan meals, cook, knit, write, blog, clean, devotional, practice an instrument, et c. YOUR goals. Check them daily with the rest of your schedule. Work on what you need to work on and treat it like a job. Schedule these things around soccer games, work, Scouts, church, volunteer events, et c.

Now when a friend or family member asks for help that is sincerely needed, we all know that everything else flies out the window. Still, keep three things per day that lead you to your goals. They can be quick. They can be barely done. But keep three things going toward your goals and still check said goals every day. Check your calendar every day. Refer to your list that updates as you make progress.

The toxic folks I mentioned in the last blog? Some of us attract more of those than others. Whether we attract them because we are kind or somehow vulnerable or because we’re also toxic people is really immaterial to this point, however. Limit the time you give the massive timesucks in your life. Limit it to nothing for these drains. These vampires of the waking hours. The needy fucks who always need you to drop everything and be there for them and never can manage to do anything for you. (Not family members or friends who are going through a temporary rough time. Again, we all know to drop everything and help those we love or even strangers in need, with the above caveat regarding three things.)

They not only drain your days of the possible productivity but they also wear away at your resolve by making you fall behind. I’m telling you that you need to cut ties with them right the fuck now. These folks are manipulative and perpetually victims. These are not your victims, though. These adults are the people who call you at 3:00 am for a sober driver to take them home when it would mean waking the baby to go get them, then these adults whine or get angry when you refuse. These are the users who get you to plan a baby shower they are expected to plan for someone you barely know. Do not be user friendly. Ignore the call, do not open the text, hide from them when you’re on Facebook or Instagram. These folks don’t need you, they need conflict and require a few personal assistants. (Really they need therapy. That’s right, they need help. Unless you’re a therapist or psychiatrist, that is not you.)

Do you know what you don’t need? Conflict. I don’t call it drama because I’ll not elevate it to an art form. Let’s refer to it by the negative terms meant for it: conflict instigation, shit-stirring, trouble-making, fight-starting, self righteous martyrdom, feigning victimization, self-destructive sowers of chaos, and toxin-spreaders. (Add in narcissists, gaslighters, and crazy-makers if you are dealing with those. Contrary to the popular belief of the moment, we are not all dealing with those folks.) You cannot fix these leaches, these destroyers of peace. You can walk the Hell away, though. You can ignore their attempts at draining the sands from your hourglass. You can say “no, I’m busy then/now.” You don’t have to explain why.

You never owe people an explanation as to why you are doing something productive — even if it is for yourself. Telling these people your reason or your plans gives them information they will use to “debate” your reasons. They will belittle your choices and/or mock why this is important to you or required right this minute. It does not matter at all that you put this off until the last minute or just have not gotten around to it for months. Your procrastination before does not lessen the priority you now give a chore, errand, or project. (“I don’t know why it is so important all of the sudden; you’ve had that kit in the basement for three decades.” SO WHAT? It should wait longer because it has waited? Or it should wait longer because your friend here thinks that he or she and his or her whims are always to be your priority? Nope. Not how it works anymore.) Avoid getting sucked into the turmoil and wasted time arguing with these selfish pricks. Just say you’re busy. Don’t explain yourself. Do not give these twits the appearance of authority to “approve” how you spend your time or the chance to try to undermine you.

You know how you want to have proof before you cut someone out of your life? You don’t need proof. You just need to feel like this person does not edify you. At the beginning, middle, and anywhere into your fitness journey (or life, generally), that which does not edify you (build you up) tears you down. You don’t need any more obstacles in your way than already exist. So move on without these naysayers. Either they shape up and can come back into your life or you need to avoid them. You don’t need justification. You don’t need irrefutable evidence. This is not a court. (And these timesucks are not the judges of what is a good reason to cut them out of your life.) You just need to do what is best for the people in your bubble, which includes you.

You don’t need approval or consent of the user. You get to make that decision. You have that power.

I say this all the time since I first thought of it six years ago: “bad enough is bad enough.” It works in so many contexts.  We don’t need to exaggerate things to make the testimonial better, we don’t need to wait for that big fight or the final stab in the back. We can decide that this is bad enough and be done with these ass hats. So don’t wait for it to get worse. Don’t tolerate one more day of non-supportive or destructive or emotionally/financially/time-draining fuckwittery. Be done now and keep building your life. Trust me, those folks can self-destruct just fine without you.

Now go do jump squats, push-ups, and Burpees and 45 seconds of plank.