Why is it that Girl Scout Cookies come in on March 1st when Lent is almost always underway? Couldn’t we deliver the cookies the first week of May? Or the beginning of February? I always keep my GSC boxes in the highest cabinet in my kitchen. Occasionally I will climb onto the counter, open the cabinet door, stare down the cookies, and know that on Easter Morning, I may eat a few* of them.

Lent is a period of denial. We don’t do it do show our piety (we have none). We do not do it for formality (or we shouldn’t). We do it so that we understand the struggle that Jesus endured in the wilderness when he did not eat or drink for 40 days. Okay. That’s cool. But didn’t Jesus do that so that he knew the temptations and struggles and pain of humanity? So we are trying to feel and identify with . . . our own struggles? Ummmmm. Or is it to honor the fact that Christ loved us enough to endure this for us? I know one thing for sure: do not do it for dietary/weight management purposes.

So we give up something lawful for us that is not necessarily good for us, or we give up something we should not have, or we take on a challenge of another sort. You do you and get from this what you put into it.

Make a few realizations, though:  God does not suspend the effects of physics, chemistry, and kinetics during this 46 days (with the rest days, which I struggle with the existence of). I mean this: If you give up meat, find another protein source or your body will be deficient in protein, and you will feel and see these effects. If you give up carbs, understand the effect this has on your body and remain hydrated and know that bulking up is not going to happen. If you give up on red meat and you are prone to anemia, take a supplement. If you quit heroine you might experience some of the things seen in the movie Trainspotting, or so I assume. Or you might write a song about it like John Lennon did. If you give up running to devote more time to something else, your endurance will suffer and you will not burn as many calories during the day, so that will have to be modified. If you give up processed sugars and white flours, you will be cranky for a while. Worse, you will be tempted with Girl Scout Cookies. And Easter candy. And the doughnuts that some horrible person or person who does not observe Lent brings in to work. If you give up extraneous spending, you will get hit with sales flyers and who knows what else.

My advice for any of these things is the trite advice that everyone gives: plan ahead. Write the budget. Stick to it. Use cash only to ensure this. Do the meal planning. Adhere to the meal planning every week. Look at the food plan on your food prep day and look at the next day’s meals every evening. Make sure you have what you need to fix these meals in advance. Wake up earlier to get in the extra prayer time and still be able to run. Or build in time for tabatas. Write it down. Put it on the family calendars. Look at the work calendar. Bubba Sue is having a birthday mid-March? You know there will be cake that week, so pack apples or peaches or dried figs or something in your lunch each day that week. Put the Girl Scout cookies in that cabinet that you have to climb onto the cabinet to reach and forget about them.

Bear this fact in mind, too: your rest days have an effect on you if you do them. If you give up caffeine and you drink a pot of coffee that day, you’re going to feel that effect much stronger than you would before. Think about the Beavis and Butthead episode in which the blonde on gets a candy high. That. If you eat a dozen doughnuts or binge on candy, you’ll feel like crap later. If you give up caffeine and you have that caffeinated beverage on your rest day, you might start all over with withdrawals if you were dependent on it before. In fact, I’m pretty sure of it. That’s how addiction works. If you sleep in until 2:00 pm on your rest day when your plan was to wake up and do your devotions or run or clean or volunteer or something, then it will be harder to wake up again the next morning. In short, be smart about it. Moderation and no addictive substances.

You know what else? Keep in mind why you are doing this. If the reason is not enough to fast in any respect, then either rethink this observation or what you are giving up or find a reason that means something to you. Faith is not the vain exercise of meaningless traditions for no reason. If it does not edify you, then it might hurt you. At the very least, doing something with no reason is silly and pointless. What message does that send about your witness? It is too much like Shirley Jackson’s The Lottery for me, which I find to be one of the most frightening stories of all time.

One more quotation to justify my English Literature degree before I move on: T.S. Eliot has Thomas Beckett asking about why he is willing to endure a certain thing. (If you don’t know, then you should get this from the title I will give), and stating that to do the right thing, but for the wrong reason is the greatest treason. That’s a big statement. Not just the big bad no-no of treason, but the greatest treason. So in Murder in the Cathedral, Eliot warns us to question out motivation. If I get killed in the cathedral, I’m going to Heaven and I’ll be sainted. But wait. I might be sainted, but if I allow myself to be killed here, is that not for a selfish reason? Hmmmmm. So do my intentions negate my action and sacrifice?  So if I’m giving this up because I’m really hoping to lose weight, then I’m not truly observing Lent, but trying to look pious and trying to excuse my crash dieting out of vanity.  Vanity and Pride.

The biggest problem here: we are humans. Overthinking humans, at that. So we might wrap all the right reasons in with a few or all or just one of the wrong reasons. Evaluate your motives and make sure that you are fully aware of the physical consequences and the outcome of your choices before you make any Lenten commitments regarding fitness and nutrition. And know why you are doing what you are doing.

If lack of appetite suppression is messing with your Lenten fasting, look into essential oils that either help suppress your appetite via diffusing or topical application or even — if appropriate — ingestion. I like lemon essential oil in my water.

Now to justify my film studies degree: “Be excellent to each other.”

*Hahahahaha!