I might step on some toes here, but this needs saying:

There are no magic pills. There are no miracle creams. That fad diet? It is just that: a fad. A fleeting, popular concept that will not last. The results will not last, either. I promise.

Check out the notice sent out by Patrick Morrisey, the West Virginia State Attorney General:

https://t.co/MtEtnbNlAd

Why? Because consumers get scammed by these products. Will a wrap take inches off your waist for a short period of time? Yes, but you’re still unhealthy. Will these pills rev up your metabolism? Yes. So will caffeine, cocaine, methamphetamine, and HIIT. Pick two of these that are healthy instead. (NOT the cocaine or methamphetamine, people!) Will these pre-made shakes make you lose weight? Yup, so will eating healthy foods. So will running. So will paying attention to what you put into your body. Yes, vitamins are good. Minerals are good. Pre and probiotics are good, but they cannot replace appropriate nutrition and exercise.

Yet people are more apt to throw money away for a shortcut that lacks the benefits of exercise and eating healthy foods. It’s childish. You want this, but you refuse to do Y to get it. This is how the body works: you get stronger and build endurance by exercising, which burns off the excess fat. You eat food to nourish you and you don’t need to eat crazy combinations of foods or make shakes to replace foods. For real. If you don’t make changes to how you’re living, then the magic shakes, the magic beans, the miracle creams? They don’t work.

One of the stupidest things anyone has ever said to me is, “You don’t need to go to the gym, you look great.” WHAT?!!! I never know where to start with this, but here goes:

1. I work out (in a gym or elsewhere) to be healthy, so my looks have nothing to do with that.
2. I look this way because I work on it, but achieving this look (not everyone wants to look like this and we all have different ideals and limitations on what we can manage to achieve, so trust me, I am not bragging) REQUIRES maintenance.
3. I am not yet where I want to be. So I need to get to the gym or run or lift at home or dance or practice yoga to achieve that.

Although the statement was made, in part, to be kind and complimentary, it stung. The other person is invariably annoyed that I am not working time into my schedule for him or her when I have things that need doing. Is that bad? A little. Selfish? Somewhat. But let’s be honest: There are times when we need to refuse to make plans at certain times for our kids, work, and working out. Meal planning, too.

I can already hear the scoff: “You have to make your dinners for the week? Really? Is that all our friendship means to you? Can’t you do that later?” Or, for the more toxic: “If you ever want to hang out with me, I’ll be sorting my laundry or canning foods and I won’t have time for you!” Toxic. Yes, I wrote it. When one is busy, the schedule is the polar star, the structure that keeps the mountain from falling down on us, the bridge across the abyss, the be-all, end-all. So, yes, those who scoff at your attempts to take care of yourself and your family and who try to send your world careening out of orbit are toxic or just totally oblivious. If oblivious, educate them. If toxic, walk away. If toxic but still fun, schedule a time that works for you. (Hey, even the most manipulative folks are witty and great fun in small doses.)

If you have enough notice, this is not a problem. But it is the “come out with us tomorrow,” or the “Tuesday Night Trivia! Are you in?!” suggestions when you have a yoga class booked for Tuesdays that are the basis for the problems I noted. The “April’s birthday is May 10th, so can you be there?” request can and probably should be accommodated (as long as you know who April is). But the last minute, non-emergency, let’s get together activities are fine to schedule for more convenient times.

Look at your planner for the week. When do you have time to get in all your workouts? When do you have time to go over homework? When do you have time to cook? Who else in your family needs you for what time? Can you fit in all of these things and still fit in an unscheduled get-together? If yes, then go out. If not, then do what you set out to do. Always offer when you are free as an alternative.

Furthermore, if you are reading this and you have said these things to someone else, I hope you are oblivious because continually saying to someone, “you can do that any time” or “you always say you need to do that” should make you want to re-evaluate your own behavior or how you deal with this friend or family member. When I hear, “I have X to do,” I do not question it anymore. Why? Because this person has her or his priorities in place. I will never say, ‘you’re really going to clean your bathroom over watching old musicals with ME?!’ Instead, I think, ‘good for you. I know your time is limited. We’ll set something up for _____. I should schedule a time to clean my bathroom, too.’

I used to say these same things, until I became irritated with someone questioning my having to prepare resumes to get out of the table-waiting job I was working so that I could get a job as a lawyer (I may as well use one of my degrees, right?), which was important to me. I fixed this and I hope you can educate your friends to see this as folly, too.

But the weight loss gimmicks? Don’t waste your money. Make the changes to eating real foods that you fix and exercising to increase muscle and lose fat. Make those permanent changes. Leave the toxic people and the scams to their own devices.